


haven't you heard (of a thing called knocking)

by qkind



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: M/M, What is an ending, Young idiots, getting caught
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qkind/pseuds/qkind
Summary: "You also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes, so..."How it went.(EDIT: Now with a Russian translation onficbookbyirzzu!)
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	haven't you heard (of a thing called knocking)

Diego has caught Klaus jerking off more times that he can count on his fingers, the idiot always leaves his door unlocked if not straight open, but he has _never been caught himself before_. He feels his cheeks flushing more than they already are, he's sweaty and embarrassed and pulling his underwear up to cover himself, and the bastard is just not leaving. The fuck?! 

"F-f-fuck off to your own room, K-klaus you mother -" he's up from the bed and to his door and pushing Klaus on his chest, and he still doesn't budge! 

"KLAUS!"

" _Woooooow_ "

Diego is still the most embarrassed he's ever been, more even than when that TV crew filmed then at the bank robbery they stopped on Garland Street and he couldn't say his tagline after pinning one of the criminals to the wall with a dagger, the one Father had scripted and he'd practiced a bazillion and a half times in front of the mirror. He's that embarrassed and still ineffectually pushing against Klaus' chest and when he finally looks up to his brother's face, which he dared not do until that moment, he sees that Klaus' eyes are trained firmly on his pants, where he's still straining against.

He lets go immediately from the shock and takes a few steps back to regain some space. 

"What the fuck Klaus?" Which was a mistake since Klaus takes the opportunity to walk inside his room and close the door. He has never closed a door voluntarily in his life! What is happening!

He tries to push past him and leave and go live down his humiliation somewhere else, alone, but Klaus stops him with those skinny twigs he has for arms that have no right to be as strong as they are, the little shit, and finally he looks into into his eyes like a _normal human being_.

"You - when did you get - you have - hair? Down there?" 

"Klaus!! Let me go!"

"You didn't tell me!" 

"Why would -"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

They pushed each other around until Diego lost his balance and they ended up a pile of boy limbs on the floor, pressing up against each other in a way that was not helping Diego at all in his fight to forget what was happening.

"I don't have to tell you anything you weirdo, leave me the fuck alone and learn - to - knock!" Diego managed to turned them around and sat triumphantly on Klaus, holding his wrists over his head. His smile vanished once he realised the thing poking his upper thigh meant Klaus was in a similar state as him, and he jumped like some scared animal and stood abruptly. 

"Wait!" 

Diego halted, hand ready to turn the doorknob and bolt.

"When did it happen? Did it itch? Are they soft? Coarse? Do you need to trim them? Does it feel nice when -"

"Shut - just shut up, Klaus, _God_." Diego rubbed his eyes with his palms until he saw little white flashes of light, and suddenly had a brilliant idea.

Innocent, naive Klaus. Who deserved some kind of punishment for not respecting boundaries. Who always did everything Diego told him to do.

"You know what? I think I know why I got hair before you." Klaus was stock still, still lying on the floor, all his attention on the words coming out of Diego's mouth - a rare thing. "I was in the lab the other day, for my chemistry studies." Klaus nodded slowly, not moving any other part of his body. " You know how Luther was supposed to help me? Since he's so good. Well - he dared me to do something stupid. But I did it and I could feel it - I felt it happening." Diego had to keep his face in check not to laugh at the stupidly believing face Klaus had. 

"What," Klaus swallowed, his mouth dry. "What did you do?"

"I licked a battery."

There was a beat of silence, both brothers looking at each other and neither moving one inch, until Diego remember he still wanted out and he quickly opened the door and left the room.

And left Klaus there, dreaming about his handsome soon-to-be grown up body, thinking about how jealous Ben would be when he showed him, not knowing that Diego was already cracking up madly and not even halfway down the stairs.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on my phone because my laptop is the shittiest so apologies for all possible probable mistakes
> 
> and for everything else really
> 
> [tumblr](https://maqqneto.tumblr.com/)


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